Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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