Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
