she was so not down for the gang bang
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
