i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
