I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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