God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
