I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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