Nicole vs. Life
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
