Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
