I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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