Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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