i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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