apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Come on in and take your pants off
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