everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sorry about my life...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
