I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
