You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
