8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
