elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
