I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
