1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
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