Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dear god my vagina.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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