It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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