Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
