Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
