Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
