i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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