can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
