He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
