We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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