We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
