I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
