I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
worst night to have a conscience
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
