it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
