i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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