JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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