Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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