this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
