i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
