You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
