You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you inspire me to be a worse person
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
