In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
