I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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