it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
