Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
do herpes really smell.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
