at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
