VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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