My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
