I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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