dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
