mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
